biochemistry & overthinking.

numb the suffering or kill it entirely?

I think in dosages now.

200mg l-theanine to take the edge off the caffeine without killing the focus.

300mcg melatonin. not milligrams. micrograms. because the physiological dose is a fraction of what they sell in shops & megadosing it downregulates your receptors within a week.

600mg nac to mop up the oxidative stress from not sleeping

10mg noopept under the tongue because oral bioavailability is shit & sublingual hits the bloodstream in about 4 minutes versus 30 through the gut.

I treat my neurochemistry like a mixing board.

push this up. pull that down. eq the whole thing until the output sounds right.

today the output sounds like calm aggression.

which is my favourite frequency to function at.

I stumbled onto something last night reading about substance P & pain perception.

substance P is a neuropeptide that transmits pain signals.

but here’s the thing...

it’s also involved in anxiety & emotional distress.

the pain pathway & the emotional suffering pathway share the same molecule. your brain literally processes heartbreak & a broken arm through overlapping chemistry.

which explains why tylenol reduces emotional pain.

there was a study where they gave people acetaminophen daily for 3 weeks & measured their response to social rejection using fmri.

the anterior insula & anterior cingulate cortex (the regions that light up during physical pain) showed significantly less activation during rejection scenarios in the tylenol group versus placebo.

you can pharmacologically dull heartbreak with an over the counter painkiller. and nobody knows this.

I started taking 500mg of nac whenever I feel emotionally “off” because it modulates glutamate which is the primary excitatory neurotransmitter driving rumination loops.

do have them thoughts that go in circles at 4 am about shit that doesn’t matter?

yeah. that’s excess glutamatergic activity in your default mode network.

nac brings it down.

the loops slow. then stop.

& you’re left with silence.

I haven’t felt “anxious” in over a year.

partially because I fixed my life (got money)

& mostly because I fixed the chemistry that generates the sensation labelled as “anxiety”

the life is still chaotic enough.

I just don’t produce the molecules that would make me care.

there’s a philosophical problem in there somewhere.

if you chemically remove your ability to suffer... are you enlightened or just numb?

I don’t care about the answer.

the result is the same.

I function better.

the output is cleaner.

that’s the only metric I respect.

we’re offshoring.

korbin.

P.S. the Vault.

that’s where I change your entire OS and update the drivers.

I built the Vault as a complete playbook for how human thinking actually works.

the behavioral biology underneath influence/control/power/persuasion/identity.

“the hidden mapping” course alone will reprogram the way you look at the world. all the secrets/the system you’re living in/the full awakening process.

if the way I see the world spoke to you.

if you want to see all the mind-fuckery...

the Vault is where I write without a filter & without a ceiling on depth.

this post is just some thoughts from a retired 21 year old cruising through life. what’s inside is the blueprint for getting it yourself.

$159/month.

full access to the game behind the game.

» Enter the Vault. Start your initiation. «